Soooooooooooooooo......
This is meeeee.....
I was a super dorky, fizzy haired, redheaded tomboy type who grew up farming in a small town with a family that strictly enforced modesty, I wanted to step out of the ugly "redheaded stepchild" role and be seen as a beautiful, strong, woman!
When I moved to Colorado, I just started to adventure out so it was quite a big change. But I needed to survive without a job for a while in a new place and most of my funds eaten up with the move, so I signed up to be a webcam model *SHOCKED FACE*.
I only did about an hour a night a few nights a week and some of them were just me reading or something while in lingerie lol
After a few months, I finally got a job as a server down the street and stopped webcaming, but I always retained the feeling of finally being seen as "sexy"! Plus, I didn't have to see anyone looking at me and I could restrict specific areas so there was a very low chance anyone I knew was going to happen upon it *SHRUG*.
Whatever your judgements at this point, while reading this, don't matter to me-
I have long accepted this part of my history.
I am not ashamed of my sexuality, though I don't share too much of it around my family, I am open to discussions about it if asked.
The bottom line from my experience doing webcam modeling was that I REALLY enjoyed basically playing adult dress up! Wearing lingerie and high heels really feeling empowering for some reason!
I loved the clothes, the props, the fun angles- overall, I creating ART!
THIS is ME NOW!
With Boudoir Photography, I fell in love with feeling strong in my body; despite what the mirror told me!
When I take a picture NOW, and am able to see myself more objectively, outside of myself, I feel so much more confident than when I look down at myself from above, going down (you know what I mean!).
I love more than just how boudoir photography makes me feel, I LOVE seeing how it make other's feel too!
Women sit down to view their images and are blown away by works of art made out of their portraits. I have seen women happy, cry, become struct silent- I just let them wash over you. It can be such a powerful feeling and you never know how someone is going to feel about their boudoir portraits, but I have never had someone NOT love their pics <3
(like me!)
I feel liberated now that I have found where I belong, photographing boudoir. Through my ups and downs, no matter what is in my history, I found my independence in my life and will never let it go!